Mrs. T knew before I did

I never really believed in mediums. In fact, I always thought they were charlatans until I met Mrs. T. There was something eerie about her, like she could see through your soul.  It was impossible for her to know everything she knew about me.  I went to see her once (well maybe more like five times…) and she was always right on the money.  She told me that I was an old soul and lived a previous lifetime with my husband. She said that I failed the assignment the last time which is why I got a redo in this lifetime.

Divorce had to be the failure right? I didn’t hold on in my previous lifetime. It had to be it. What if holding on was the failure? What if fighting a losing battle until I had no fight left in me was the real failure? Although I promised myself that I would not make decisions based on what a medium told me, I found myself pushing through, living in a bubble through which I ignored my discontent, my unhappiness, the infidelity and the various forms of abuse that I was subjected to. Being busy became the most important element in holding on, but somewhere deep down inside me all I felt was constant unease. I ignored it. I continued to choose us.

Then, the pandemic hit. There were no more activities to bring the children to, no more work. The world stopped but mine started spinning. I tried to stay in my bubble but it slowly started to crack until I could not hide in it anymore. And so it happened; I asked for a divorce. When I uttered the words, I felt a peace inside me unlike anything I had ever experienced before. That is when I knew that I was making a decision that was aligned with my soul.  

Mrs. T’s words might have opened up my eyes to the possibility of past lives and old souls, but it is in this life that I chose to rewrite the narrative. Walking away wasn’t about giving up but about reclaiming my right to happiness. In a society quick to judge, I found the courage to choose me, to embrace a new beginning, and to live a life aligned with my soul. My journey is uniquely mine, and I walk it with my head held high.