Growing Into Myself: How Therapy, Friendship, and Change Reshaped My Life

A joyful winter moment as two friends share a playful kiss on their friend's cheeks.

Where do I even begin?

Therapy with Mario has been one of the greatest gifts God could have placed in my path. And before I go any further, I have to acknowledge my dear friend — my BFF — who will remain nameless for now, but who was absolutely instrumental in helping me take that first step toward growth. For that, I will forever be grateful.

Before Mario, I had already done some work with another therapist, Annie. With her, I was able to dig deep into childhood wounds — the ones that shaped me into a woman who was often codependent, who accepted things she never should have accepted, who didn’t yet understand her own worth.

That work mattered. It was foundational.

But life shifted. The pandemic happened. Therapy paused. Then restarted as I navigated my divorce.

Eventually, though, I felt like I had reached the limits of what Annie specialized in. I needed something different. Something sharper. Something that would push me forward.

Enter Mario — the answer to a prayer I didn’t even know I had spoken.

His approach was more direct, sometimes brutally so. He called me out when I needed it. He didn’t let me hide behind excuses or old patterns. And as uncomfortable as that could be, it was exactly what I needed.

He helped me understand the psychological makeup behind my choices, my reactions, my fears. And slowly, I began to change.

Learning to Think for Myself

One of the biggest realizations I had was how much I relied on my friends — my tribe — as my second brain. After my divorce especially, every decision felt like a group project.

What should I do with the house?

How should I handle something with my kids?

What about dating?

My tribe was always there, always ready to weigh in. Their support was invaluable, but I didn’t realize how much I had outsourced my own decision‑making.

Therapy changed that.

I started trusting my instincts. I started making choices on my own. I started becoming whole again — slowly, imperfectly, but undeniably.

And that shift didn’t go unnoticed.

Some friends welcomed the change. Margot, for example, had been telling me for ages to trust myself more, to stop seeking permission for decisions that were mine to make. But others struggled. Not because they didn’t love me, but because my growth changed the dynamic. If I no longer needed constant guidance, what did that mean for their role in my life?

It wasn’t intentional, but my evolution required them to evolve too.

Growth Isn’t a Solo Journey

What surprised me most was that my personal growth became a collective one. As I changed, my friends had to adjust. They had to understand that my independence wasn’t a rejection. It wasn’t me pulling away. It was me becoming the woman I was always meant to be.

And through that process, I reassured them — and myself — that they still had a place in my life and in my heart. Growth didn’t replace them. It simply reshaped how we moved together.

Divorce changed me in ways I never expected. It forced me to confront the truth that life isn’t static. It moves. It shifts. It has seasons. And we have to be willing to move with them.

My journey isn’t just mine. It’s intertwined with my children, my loved ones, and yes — my tribe.

Becoming the Woman I’m Meant to Be

Today, their opinions still matter to me. Their love still anchors me. But I am more assertive now. More confident. More grounded in who I am and who I’m becoming.

And I’m excited — truly excited — about this next chapter.

I feel blessed that my tribe is still here, riding alongside me, helping me polish my chrome when it needs fixing.

But most of all, I feel blessed and highly favored that we keep choosing each other. Over and over again.

That choice — that mutual commitment — is priceless.